Tags: fanfic


Retcons and fanfic crack

I just discovered that the impulse to write fanfic that attempts to be an in-canon retcon of something seen as poor characterization in the "canon" story goes back a lot, lot farther in history than I ever thought it did.

Back several hundred years B.C.

The case in point: In 412 B.C., the Greek playwright Euripides wrote in his play Helen that Homer's Illiad was wrong: Helen never actually left her husband Menelaus, went to Troy, and married Paris (thereby starting the Trojan War).

Instead, the god Hermes created an exact duplicate of Helen made out of clouds, and sent the duplicate off with Paris, who was never the wiser. Hermes then carried off the real Helen to Egypt, where she stayed for the entirety of the Trojan War, pining for her dear, dear Menelaus.

In other words, Helen really, really wasn't an adulterous hussy who left her husband and young daughter to run off with a hot Trojan stud, instead she was the very model of womanly virtue. (Of course, retcons like this sometimes have their own undesirable side effects, this one being that then the whole "face that launched a thousand ships" wasn't really ever there, and the whole Trojan War was fought over a wisp of cloud...)

Then, after Menelaus sacked Troy and was reunited with "Helen", he set off for home, but ended up shipwrecked on the Egyptian coast, just coincidentally a short walk from where Helen's been staying for the past ten years. The duplicate flies off into the sky and Menelaus stumbles across the real deal. The two of them then plot against the ruler of the land (who kills all Greek men he meets and wants to marry Helen himself), and, in one of the more sparkling Mary-Sue scenes in the story, successfully make off with the ruler's best ship and a huge treasure. And then they ride off into the sunset.

It's crack, but it's good crack.

(Moving Helen to Egypt wasn't actually original to Euripides, but his version of the story is the only one with this particular arrangement of "facts".)

Feudalism: Serf & Turf


"Reepicheep & Wormtail (who is being stalked by his ex, Ratigan) go out for a fancy restaurant dinner cooked by master chef Remi & family, followed by a den-swapping soiree with the Rats of NIMH, which is then crashed by a thoroughly-soused Templeton."

The above started out with just the initial coupling, which was bad enough, but turned into a personal challenge to work in as many more characters as possible, which led to this one-sentence summary.

This was the culmination of a series of slashfic dare-parings I came up with, issued in jest to ronniekins77 in an effort to tweak her fanfic-lovin' nose. All were slashfic pairings that technically make sense on some level but are generally way out past left field in the no-man's-land of "Oh, dear God, why?", and yet could still be mentioned over dinner with one's relatives, created with the basic intent to cause fanfic writers (cross-fandom or not) to reflexively reach for either the brain bleach or a keyboard. (Including Peter Pevensie/Claire Bennett ["the all-new, all-different Paire"], Eustace Scrubb/Charlie Weasley, and Mr. Tumnus/Aberforth Dumbledore.)

Of course, given Rule 34, it's entirely possible that any or all of these already exist--and if so, I plan on remaining completely ignorant of their actual existence for as long as possible.

(And yes, I know that I am a sick, sick man.)

Feudalism: Serf & Turf
otp, the_whites

Fanfic idea

Here's a tagline for any aspiring authors out there looking for some inspiration...

Sylar and Hannibal Lector meet in a chatroom (or, if you prefer, in an LJ community), and try to pick each other up, each thinking the other is a pretty, 18-year old boy.

I can't write it (not "I don't want to," but rather, "my fiction-writing and comedy-writing skills are so poor that if I tried, it would suck all humor out of the room, never to be seen again"), but even in the clouded mental picture I get at best when it comes to writing fiction, this feels like it might have comedic potential in the right hands. So feel free to use it, or pass it along to someone else who might.

(This was inspired by hearing about a mini-cascade in news of Sylar-related posts and icons, with lines like "He loves me for my brains" and "Want to hook up? E-mail me at mohinder@i-am-special.com". This just popped into my head as the next logical step.)

Feudalism: Serf & Turf