Yup, I know that feeling only too well. (There are more interesting and/or obscurely funny shirt designs behind the link, but I think that one's the best of the bunch.)
And then there's the Alien Abduction Dog Tags, based on the metal plate sent into deep space on the Pioneer 10 spacecraft, and guaranteed to show the pilot the way back to Earth in case of an alien abduction. Note the friendly, waving male & female icons that look more like they're either giving the Nazi salute or doing the "I'm a little teapot" dance, or a little of both. Also note that we're no longer at war with Eurasia, it's now Eurafrica.
I confess I am a little curious to know how one is supposed to go about proving one's case to get the "Alien Abduction money back guarantee," though, and do so in such a way that it wouldn't be more profitable to simply contact Geraldo Rivera instead.
Feudalism: Serf & Turf