I laughed at some of the funny parts, jumped at some of the scary parts, cringed at some of the cringe-inducing parts, cheered at some of the cheer-inducing parts, but overall, I haven't had that strong an urge to walk out on a movie, EVER. Came this >< close to doing so; only reason I didn't was that I don't walk out on movies.
And I grew up watching and enjoying TV reruns of bad disaster flicks like Airport, Airport 1975, Airport '77, The Concorde: Airport '79, Crack in the World (a personal favorite), The Poseidon Adventure, and many more (though they were all on TV so I didn't have to pay to see any of them). But even now, I seek out and enjoy movies that are B grade, or not even that. I even sat through the entire first Dungeons & Dragons film without any urge at all to leave the theater (that one's still a laughingly bad film, but I'd still probably watch it again).
This? This committed two sins worse than being a "bad" movie for me (since I have a soft spot for "bad" movies)--large parts of it were boring, and it repeatedly blew away my suspension of disbelief just about every time I started to find something interesting. If something like 70% of the script this film was taken from suggestions in various webforums (as I've heard bandied about), then that just goes to show you how terrible most posters to webforums are at writing. The script came off like this was the writer's first movie and he hadn't quite gotten the hang of what works and what doesn't. The CGI was about on par with what I'd expect to see in a "Sci-Fi Channel original movie"--that is to say, often painfully obvious that it's CGI.
In short, it was bad, and not in a "accidentally laughingly bad" way, nor in the "tongue in cheek purposefully over the top bad" way Samuel L. Jackson was apparently trying for. (To his credit, he succeeded most of the time. But that's Samuel L. Jackson for you--apparently, no one else involved in this got the memo that it was supposed to be a "park your brain at the door" fun B movie.)
I really wish I hadn't paid full price for this. I don't know if it'd be worth paying matinee price. Edited for TV and shown on a rainy Sunday afternoon when there's nothing on but amateur golf and the Home Shopping Network? It'd probably be worth it then, but this isn't something I'd otherwise intentionally inflict on my friends.
This may be the last time I use this icon. It was somewhat funny back when this was becoming a meme and the movie looked like it was going to be enjoyably laughingly over the top bad. After seeing the final product, it missed even that target.
Can I have my two hours back? (Most of the trailers didn't interest me either.)
Feudalism: Serf & Turf