Aardy R. DeVarque (aardy) wrote,
Aardy R. DeVarque

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Who's ewe daddy?

After seeing "...ing sheep off in a garbage can" in a Fox News headlines crawl in this picture in paulobrien's journal, as well as the first few responses, I decided to track down what exactly was happening to that poor sheep. After all, as was asked there, how many words ending in "ng" would grammatically fit in that sentence, and how many of those are Not Safe For Work?

Well, here's the answer: Sheep taken out like trash

In brief, a homeless guy with paranoid schizophrenia was stopped while trying to leave the Little Rock Zoo while carrying a trash can containing one of the sheep from the zoo's petting zoo. He apparently claimed it was sick and that he was taking it to a veterinary clinic. Reports are still coming in though; he may instead have claimed that he thought it was his mother. After a brief scuffle with police, he was captured. He's being charged with violating an animal facility (which sounds much, much dirtier than it has any right to), criminal trespass, cruelty to animals, resisting arrest, and theft of property. The sheep was returned to its pen.

None of the stories I've found so far try to guess what the man planned to do with the sheep if he'd successfully gotten out of the zoo with it. Perhaps some of those NSFW verbs might have become appropriate after all?

That's not the whole story, though. While looking for this story, I also discovered this version. Which wouldn't hold a candle to the fuller, local version linked above, except that it's their Top Story. My GOD, it must be a slow news day.

But wait, it gets better. While I was still laughing so hard I couldn't breathe from reading the sheep story, I saw their Related Articles list, where they list Willy the Hog Pairs with Antelope at Zoo.

Oh God. Like my brain wasn't already in the gutter thinking about the sheep story, they have to show me this? If I laugh any harder my lungs will come out my ears.

Apparently Willy the Red River Hog's lifemate died of cancer, and he was so lonely he turned to a nearby antelope for companionship. He eventually won her over, and the two now nap and cuddle together, share breakfast, and groom each other.

This is quickly getting down there with Transformers/Care Bears slash. Pass the brain bleach, will you?

Feudalism: Serf & Turf
Tags: animals, news, sheep, wtf

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